BreakRaven

"We can survive this. But, the only way that will happen is if our people don't give up. They need leaders who laugh, leaders who feel that this fight can be won. So, this is what I ask of you. I don't care if you're an optimist or a pessimist - I don't care if secretly, you think we'll all be dead before the month ends. On the outside, I want to see you smiling. Do it in defiance, if you have to. If the end does come, I want this group to meet that end smiling. As the Survivor taught us."

Gah, Elend. Where do I start with this silly speech of his?

1) We can survive this. But, the only way that will happen is if our people don't give up. They need leaders who laugh, leaders who feel that this fight can be won.

First, Elend, come on. You don't smile for your people - you buckle down and tell them flat-out that they're probably all going to die. Hypocrite.

2) So, this is what I ask of you.

You're ASKING. Note your own wording.

3) I don't care if you're an optimist or a pessimist - I don't care if secretly, you think we'll all be dead before the month ends. On the outside, I want to see you smiling. Do it in defiance, if you have to. If the end does come, I want this group to meet that end smiling.

 

Wait a sec there. I thought you were asking them? But that sounds an awful lot like a nonnegotiable order. If you're just going to order them around whether they like it or not, then don't be a moron by trying to make it look like a request. Either you're asking or commanding - not both.

4) As the Survivor taught us.

NO. NO NO NO NO NO ELEND. JUST NO. You had to ask your people about Kelsier, because you didn't know him or anything about him. But once you'd heard them tell you that he used to laugh a lot, you snapped your fingers and thought, "Wow! I need to replace Kelsier until the end of this series, so I'd better start ripping off his ideas!" So you ordered them to laugh - despite the fact that this idea had obviously never occurred to you before now. And worst of all, you make it sound like you cared about Kelsier or his "teachings" when all you've done for two whole books is put him down and pretend to be better than he ever was. And because you're Elend the Saintly, you just had to phrase it like you actually believe in this religion you joined - when you don't. All you've done by joining it in the first place is lie to all your subjects and treat them like they're stupid, like they should be grateful for any scraps you throw them.

"Look, I'm God Elend Venture! Your Emperor! And I actually publicly joined your religion even though I don't believe a word of it! Be grateful to me, follow me, all you flawed and lesser beings! Mwahahahaha!"

My tenses in that little rant are all over the place, but I'm too annoyed to go back and fix any of it. Sorry. D:

Please just.....go away, Elend. You're giving me a migraine.